Argh! How long...

... does this go on for? I am still suffering with sinusitis and recovering from the flu. Admittedly sinus issues, allergies affecting my sinuses and Trigeminal Neuralgia are chronic issues that I deal with for vast portions of the year, but... but...but this knocked me because it followed the bad flu... it feels like when you can't catch a break. I was merrily floating forwards in a chronic sickness forward way (as in: this is all subject to change at a moment's notice), or so I thought, and then this stopped me in my tracks. To be fair, I am feeling A LOT better than I was, but I still have the sinusitis making me feel yucky and it's so draining on the system trying to fight the infection.

So anyway, in good news, I am still at 3mg of LDN and I do feel that it is doing something. Underneath all the recent viral infection, I can feel a sense of a stronger baseline. I feel that at least I have stayed static for sometime, whereas pre-LDN I seemed to be progressively getting worse, which had started to scare me. There is hope there. I remind myself I am not even near the full dose yet, and so there is continued room for improvement. If a full dose of LDN enabled me to have even 10% more functioning than I do now, it would be amazing and I would be very grateful.

Lastly, I had to post this...

From http://quixoticmeblog.blogspot.co.uk/

 

I found it brought a smile to my face (perhaps that should be an ironic smile) and gave me a giggle. As the years go by, dealing with the skepticism and the less than helpful reactions becomes more normal and less unexpected. I feel that, as sad as it is that the M.E. community has to deal with these reactions, the impact they have on someone like me becomes lesser with time. I no longer need validation, and that enables me to be able to laugh at the absurdity of the situation and to own it instead of being governed by it.

The Flu

So after I wrote my last post, literally a few hours later, I came down with the flu. I have been sick ever since, which is around 12 days now. M.E. and the flu do not go together well. The body can barely cope. I just don't have the reserves to be able to fight it well. I have lost quite a bit of weight as I can't eat much.

I dread this. I have had this severe flu (guessing type A due to the severity) several times in my adult life. I literally got it every year when working. I realised all cases have been when I was doing more and thus exposed to more people and their germs. It really puts me off going out or trying to do things. I am OCD about germs as it is - I carry anti-bacterial gel and sprays and squirt my hands with it frequently while I am out and before I eat anything. I refuse to knowingly be around people who have flu or similar bugs; if I can avoid them I will - no offence, but I don't need to fight extra battles with extra bacteria/viruses etc. I have missed class for 3 weeks (stomach bug, and two weeks with flu), which is both upsetting and frustrating. I want to get on with these things - these small plans/victories in my life, and yet once again my body scuppers my plans. I am pretty fed up with being sick. It's bad enough trying to cope and have plans when you are chronically ill, but there really is no accounting for, or compensating for, having acute illness on top.