When the Patient Becomes the Caregiver

First off, good news on the LDN (Low Dose Naltrexone) front, my reaction to the dosage increase has gone and I am stabilised again. I also think that this time my reaction was also shorter than before. I am at 3 mg now, so will stay here until the next holiday in Pesach/Easter time.

The bad news is that my mum who is my primary carer, has come down with a very nasty case of some sort of flu/bug thing. Suddenly our roles switch as she is really sick - sleeping or half conscious, needing liquids/food/medicine and help with bathing etc. Of course me being me, I get on with trying to fulfill the nursing role, but it is so hard when you, yourself are sick already. The stairs KILL ME - seriously. Normally I go up and down them about 4 times max in an average day, which in itself is amazing and pleases me! Not so when 'caring'- I'm up, down, up, down, and it takes its toll - I also had to do the washing, which I don't normally do any of as this is one of my mum's chores.

On top of this I am so paranoid about getting this infection myself. Basically, if I get it, I am snookered in terms of my classes. I do actually have a sore throat developing/mild cough and I feel a bit weird (more weird than normal). My legs feel odd, very odd. Anyway, I am taking my vitamin C, echinacea and multi vitamin/mineral, and hoping that my body fights this off and I magically feel better.

I think this issue of what happens to the carer and their charge when the carer gets sick is so difficult. I feel responsibility towards my carer because she has helped me all these years, and I know how it feels to be ill, vulnerable and, I guess, needy. Yet how one can repay the kindness is almost impossible when you are still ill. It saddens me that I am not better able to cope with this, and yeah, it's not the first time I have had to be the carer, but I still have not figured it out.