50/50

Yesterday was a 50/50 kind of day...

50% good and 50% bad.

I am still suffering from very disturbed sleep. I randomly get to sleep - there is no regular time, and then I wake up, sleep, wake up, sleep, wake up...

Yesterday I had to wake up early and get myself out of the house, as this academic year I had challenged myself to attend a class. I thought: at least one class out of the house, activating the brain and meeting people; attending a class will do me good. It's been tough, and I do think has impacted me - set me back ability wise, but having had these health problems for most of my life, I sometimes feel that I just have to 'do' something, even if it comes at more than just a financial cost to myself.

The good - hopefully LDN related - news is that I felt cognitively more functional. I felt a lot more alert than normal. I felt slightly more energetic especially considering that I had had poor sleep.

In my typical hopeful fashion, I started to think I had turned some corner after my dose increased. Yet, by 2pm, I was LDN sick again -  with a bad, bad headache and terrible nausea. It was so bad, I could not do a thing and had to spend all afternoon and evening in bed. I also developed a runny nose. Feeling so unwell and so incapable, I just went back to feeling desperate and miserable.

So last night, I decided to take a 'drowsy' allergy pill. Usually that would make me have a fairly good night of sleep, once I actually fell asleep. Not last night, which was another night of disturbed sleep. Somehow LDN overrode the tablet!

Today I woke up feeling not too bad - quite exhausted, but not crazily fatigued to the point of bed or chair bound. I decided that if today is headache and nausea free, I will be very happy. To have a good day without those side effects would keep my spirits up! I managed to go for a walk... And although that did make me feel unwell in retrospect, the fact I even managed to do it in such cold weather, was a miracle really. I keep on hoping.